Besides, it’s supposed to be a COCK horse, not QWOP

From Dynamic Model of a Horse Gallop in 2D by Eddy Boxerman.

What’s this about cock horses and Banbury crosses?

Original PIU thread

As my 43rd birthday bears down with promises of rain on that weekend, my thoughts, borne down by the depressing power of cold virii, turn to where I want to and think I should be.

My parents and I have a sort of running joke whenever we see a pub or hotel up for sale in the real estate pages. It’s a sour gag though; I like going to the pub - generally on a quiet afternoon - evenings tend to be bedlam. And an evening at the hostelry must be worse when you’re behind the counter and can’t escape the noise.

That dovetails with this desire I have to move out, live my own life, on my own schedule. I’ve tried and failed, twice, to do this. I’ve either lacked some essential living skill, or aspect of life, or became stymied by obstacles. I was led to believe that once out of college (ugh), it would be university, then a steady ascent up the career ladder; then comes love and marriage (possibly in that order), followed by mortgages and exploding nappies; subsequently closing up with old age, senility, and going up the chimney.

Instead I have had twenty-three years of dashed hopes, failed attempts, dead ends, ennui, and more dashed hopes in the form of losing Powerball tickets. That latter coming from my calculations that, with careful management, I could live off six million for the rest of my life before gargling my last in a decent nursing home.

If I thought I could hack it, and I had the money, I’d consider moving up north and taking over the Poroti Tavern north of Auckland. But I can’t and don’t. I need more confidence about and experience in running a business. Not to mention access to the funds without having a monster mortage over my head.

What I do know is that I feel more or less trapped and stagnant at the moment. I want to break out and change.

Which, from past experience, means I’m not ready to do that yet.

But I’m afraid of waiting until it’s too late to enjoy life; of finally living independently solely because both my parents have died and now I’m sixty-three with just twenty years to go before being found solely because the neighbours complained about the smell.

Personally, I’m not sure who runs Tumblr anymore; is it Yahoo or Apple? And I’m not that thrilled about the loss of all the porn blogs. They’ll just become someone else’s problem.

Frankly I’m not that fussed; my tumblr isn’t NSFW, and if absreruns goes down I won’t be shedding tears. It was an impulse project that’s worn itself out, and there’s always subgenius.com for the Art Mines of alt.binaries.slack.

I have been considering restarting a personal website for a couple of months now, but never managed to figure it out. What theme? (Not exactly the design, I’m talking overall.) If I make it into just the official Cranky Rabbit website, then any other pursuits will get skewed into Shit Cranky Does. And that’s a website design that I consider important if I’m to get a music/production career off the ground.

At the moment I’m pondering what CMS to use in the back end, and whether or not to retire the old domain. I don’t really need it and it’s too callow. It might be better to let it lapse and get a new one. Something I can use as a generic top level domain; *.[something professional sounding].nz.

I have a Phaser install on my localhost, and a test game with a crude “Desperate Fun Productions” splash screen (it’s from “Lowlands” by the Tall Dwarfs.) My zines are mostly issued under the Desperate Fun Productions name. So at the moment desperatefun[productions].[co].nz is the front-runner. If I can think of something else a bit more optimistic and a bit more timeless that’d be good.

(Something that lends itself to an easier to draw logo would be nice too.)