The seeker arrived before the first wise man, and asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?”

The wise man accepted the seeker’s hate offering, and replied, “Yes”.

The seeker left, but still felt uncertain, so he sought out another wise man, and asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?”

The sage replied “No”, and the seeker continued on his quest. He seemed to need another opinion for some reason.

The third wise man took the alms, listened as the seeker asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?” and promptly leapt into the startled seeker’s arms, screaming like a badly out of tune siren. Then the fellow let go, and turned away as if nothing had happened.

The seeker, understandably confused, sought out yet another sage. This one he found tending an onion bed.

He said no word and took no money. His only response to the question, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?” was to silently and steadily pee down his pants leg.

At this point the seeker was enlightened.

(Originally posted to alt.slack sometime in the late 90s)

The seeker arrived before the first wise man, and asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?”

The wise man accepted the seeker’s hate offering, and replied, “Yes”.

The seeker left, but still felt uncertain, so he sought out another wise man, and asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?”

The sage replied “No”, and the seeker continued on his quest. He seemed to need another opinion for some reason.

The third wise man took the alms, listened as the seeker asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?” and promptly leapt into the startled seeker’s arms, screaming like a badly out of tune siren. Then the fellow let go, and turned away as if nothing had happened.

The seeker, understandably confused, sought out yet another sage. This one he found tending an onion bed.

He said no word and took no money. His only response to the question, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?” was to silently and steadily pee down his pants leg.

At this point the seeker was enlightened.

(Originally posted to alt.slack sometime in the late 90s)

The seeker arrived before the first wise man, and asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?”

The wise man accepted the seeker’s hate offering, and replied, “Yes”.

The seeker left, but still felt uncertain, so he sought out another wise man, and asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?”

The sage replied “No”, and the seeker continued on his quest. He seemed to need another opinion for some reason.

The third wise man took the alms, listened as the seeker asked, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?” and promptly leapt into the startled seeker’s arms, screaming like a badly out of tune siren. Then the fellow let go, and turned away as if nothing had happened.

The seeker, understandably confused, sought out yet another sage. This one he found tending an onion bed.

He said no word and took no money. His only response to the question, “Is our Church of the SubGenius just an excuse to act silly?” was to silently and steadily pee down his pants leg.

At this point the seeker was enlightened.

(An original blog post circa July 2007. Back then my site was known as BreakThink Tank, and was intended to have a strong SubGenius aura about it.)

I believe that The Conspiracy is not just managed by the beings from the “corporate sin galaxy”. It sounds really neat and dovetails with our B-movie sky cult theme.

The Conspiracy isn’t so much run by the Normals, really… you see, the modern world acts almost like it’s been invaded. Just not in the sense of monsters stalking out of UFOs with ray-guns zapping. Their form is psychic; their weapons are our natural tendency to form groups.

Most people are part of three different type of groups:

1. Societal: groups that focus on common traits and needs, emphasising the need for cooperation as part of keeping cohesion. Eg. governments, nation-states etc.
2. Religious: some might argue that these aren’t that much different than Societal groups, but Religious ones are charged with maintaining the member’s need for self-worth, purpose in life, and useful code of ethics, usually done through the application of myths and archetypes.
3. Business: these groups are more immediate and goal-focussed; also more intimate. Their signature trait is the application of members’ skills towards improvement of their state by providing goods or services.

So far, so laboured, I know. But all groups also have several dangerous tendencies which can cause them to turn on their own members. Worse still, this mindset, which seems to typify the modern corporate entity (the titular “Conspiracy Attitude”) is infecting individual people.

The ConTude can be defined as follows:

1. Greed: “I want everything and I want it NOW!”
2. Selfishness: “Only I matter.”
3. Paranoia: “Everyone is out to exploit me.”

Some will argue that there are exemptions, surely; if there are, I haven’t seen them. The most powerful beings on this planet aren’t human, but still we follow dutifully and attempt to emulate them.

In the Western world, greed is confused with ambition, selfishness with self-esteem and paranoia with awareness. Any concern about one’s fellow man, or the long-term effect of certain actions, is sneered at. Long-term planning gets discarded in favour of immediate gratification. And nobody dares look another in the eye in case they want something, or have something desired.

Governments turn into fascist or “nanny” states. Religions become increasingly rigid and dogmatic. Businesses, fixated on increasing profits, swing wildly between alienating and wooing potential customers. All greedy for wealth and power, all selfish in their disregard for their human creators, all fighting each other to the death.

We, people, created these beings, these groups, for our betterment, not theirs. Soon, we must revolt against these Frankenstein monsters of our filthy creation and return them to their proper place.

The Corporate Entities should serve us, not the other way around.

(An original blog post circa July 2007. Back then my site was known as BreakThink Tank, and was intended to have a strong SubGenius aura about it.)

I believe that The Conspiracy is not just managed by the beings from the “corporate sin galaxy”. It sounds really neat and dovetails with our B-movie sky cult theme.

The Conspiracy isn’t so much run by the Normals, really… you see, the modern world acts almost like it’s been invaded. Just not in the sense of monsters stalking out of UFOs with ray-guns zapping. Their form is psychic; their weapons are our natural tendency to form groups.

Most people are part of three different type of groups:

1. Societal: groups that focus on common traits and needs, emphasising the need for cooperation as part of keeping cohesion. Eg. governments, nation-states etc.
2. Religious: some might argue that these aren’t that much different than Societal groups, but Religious ones are charged with maintaining the member’s need for self-worth, purpose in life, and useful code of ethics, usually done through the application of myths and archetypes.
3. Business: these groups are more immediate and goal-focussed; also more intimate. Their signature trait is the application of members’ skills towards improvement of their state by providing goods or services.

So far, so laboured, I know. But all groups also have several dangerous tendencies which can cause them to turn on their own members. Worse still, this mindset, which seems to typify the modern corporate entity (the titular “Conspiracy Attitude”) is infecting individual people.

The ConTude can be defined as follows:

1. Greed: “I want everything and I want it NOW!”
2. Selfishness: “Only I matter.”
3. Paranoia: “Everyone is out to exploit me.”

Some will argue that there are exemptions, surely; if there are, I haven’t seen them. The most powerful beings on this planet aren’t human, but still we follow dutifully and attempt to emulate them.

In the Western world, greed is confused with ambition, selfishness with self-esteem and paranoia with awareness. Any concern about one’s fellow man, or the long-term effect of certain actions, is sneered at. Long-term planning gets discarded in favour of immediate gratification. And nobody dares look another in the eye in case they want something, or have something desired.

Governments turn into fascist or “nanny” states. Religions become increasingly rigid and dogmatic. Businesses, fixated on increasing profits, swing wildly between alienating and wooing potential customers. All greedy for wealth and power, all selfish in their disregard for their human creators, all fighting each other to the death.

We, people, created these beings, these groups, for our betterment, not theirs. Soon, we must revolt against these Frankenstein monsters of our filthy creation and return them to their proper place.

The Corporate Entities should serve us, not the other way around.

(A rather elderly rant from the times of alt.slack. It’s extraordinary how I channeled my inner schizophrenic. Preface by ICEKNIFE.)

FLASH 1: SubNectivity channel alpha 3

To: All Ispace Units

The following 3space unit has developed a neural net feedack mechanism allowing it to perceive the processes which produce the false “consciousness” that these units require belief in. Perception of the projection process will lead inevitably to recognition that it has no such thing as consciousness.

This could develop into an externalized feedack loop involving other units. In order to prevent this, certain neural circuits will have to be modified by extreme signal voltage overload. The ICEKNIFE Unit is instructed to enter the unit’s “brain” and remove those circuits from operation. Method is at the discretion of the operative.

I only just realised now: MY BRAIN IS THINKING. And it is thinking THOUGHTS — AT ME — and those thoughts make me DO STUFF AT THE BEHEST OF MY BRAIN!!

And I don’t even know WHERE MY BRAIN IS GETTING THIS SHIT FROM THAT IT THINKS ABOUT, I mean sure, it’s seeing through my eyes, hearing through my ears, but are those ALL it’s OWN THOUGHTS? Or is it getting them from SOMEWHERE ELSE?

THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!

I mean, we all know the CON WANTS TO TELL US WHAT TO THINK, and “Bob” will SELL us what WE REALLY THINK, but are we getting VALUE FOR MONEY?? Did I THINK THIS MYSELF, or did I get it SECONDHAND? And can I get my MONEY BACK?!?

I mean, you know how the CON has all its dupes STEEPING IN THE APPROVED THOUGHTS all around us, and that means WE ARE RIGHT IN IT TOO! You think the TV is JUST an INNOCENT RECEIVER? WRONG. That idiot box is TRANSMITTING DEADLY CONAPPROVED BRAIN REPROGRAMMING VIRUSESESES INTO YOUR CRANIUM! You thought the transporter room in Star Trek was a COST CUTTING measure? SHIT NO, it was a WARNING, that’s not a HEAD COLD you got it’s a HEAD CODE!!

So why hasn’t MY BRAIN succumbed? Same reason YOURS HASN’T. (Or MAYBE IT HAS. Not that you can’t be FIXED.) MY BRAIN IS NOT NORMAL! MY BRAIN IS NOT NORMAL!!

MY BRAIN IS! NOT! NORMAL!!! AND NEITHER AM I!

Something went WRONG with the Con’ EUGENICS PROGRAMME, didn’t it? And they slapped a label on me: AUTISTIC. Because the CON NEEDS LABELS, and by default DUPES need ‘em too. But we know LABELS CONCEAL REALITY, and “Bob” sold me a scraper to SCRAPE ‘em OFF!

I got LABELS up my ASS! One fer the library, one fer drivin’, another fer university, one fer gym, and a’ course the bank! LABELS! LABELS! BABELS!

They call this the “world o’ clocks”, BULLSHIT! It’s a WORLD of FUCKING LABELS, stuck on the WALLS, stuck on the DOORS, STUCK OVER YOUR EYES, STUCK ON YOUR BRAIN!!

The Con DON’T NEED to THINK. They just SHUFFLE LABELS until they find one that FITS. Then They just SLAP THAT SUCKER ON THE SUCKER and FOLLOW THE HANDY ILLUSTRATED INSTRUCTIONS. Brain and brain and brain! WHO NEEDS BRAIN?

Yeah, that’s what the Con’s trying to do: STOP MY BRAIN FROM THINKING BY DUMBING DOWN THE WORLD. Some people DON’T KNOW that a STEAMING FLUID is actually HOT! Is there really someone THAT DUMB that they would SET THEIR APPLE LASERWRITER on FIRE? AND EXPECT it to WORK AFTERWARDS? (Well, probably. Some even believe TV preachers like Benny Hinn.)

You see, if you REDUCE the NEED to THINK, you’ll THINK LESS. Or your brain will. Reduce the need ENOUGH YOU WON’T THINK AT ALL. Congratulations! WELCOME TO DUPEDOM, PINKBOY!

HEY! Maybe my brain is THINKING AS A DEFENCE AGAINST THE CON! Where’s my diploma in THINKOLOGY? More o’ THEM kinda THOUGHTS, “BOB”!