I would like to say a few words on video walkthroughs for Flash Games.

Censored, then: Stupid Idea.

I am well aware that the majority of the witless horde out there are too cretinous and illiterate to actually read let alone have the capacity to think without soiling themselves from the strain. They want someone to show them how to complete the puzzle, or better still walk them through the entire thing so they can preen about their diminished achievement.

So much for the supporters of video walkthroughs. Why the vitriol?

Streaming video is too slow

There is nothing worse than clicking “walkthrough” and having to wait for some wunderkind’sprecious video to first load the player, then precache the first three seconds, then fetch the next one second, and the next, and the next… assuming the server doesn’t cack itself. In short: That five minute vidcap takes far longer to run than you think.

I just want to know about this, I’ve already done all that

This then is my beef. At one point close to the end in a point-and-click adventure game, I was stymied, and found myself irritably sitting through almost the entirety of a video before it actually got to the place I was stuck.

With a set of static images, helpful Javascript and some text, I could just jump straight to the problem point and back.

I’m a freak. I read instructions, and understand them.

Which reminds me:

Video walkthroughs destroy the sense of discovery

If you watch one part of the walkthrough, what’s to stop someone watching the whole thing? Part of the fun in a game is the discovering of new things, making the connection. But that’s too haaaard for the modern moron; just do what that guy in the video does. Yay. You’ve won the game… by aping someone else.

When I’m stuck, I want immediate help, not a whirling throbber and grainy YouTube footage. Screw modern technology. Let’s have… what are those things… oh yeah. Web pages.

Leave online video for the cam whores and cute kittens falling off Roombas.