A terrible reality TV series called Toddlers and Tiaras, in which children are turned into models, has recently spawned an equally controversial spinoff called Honey Boo Boo. Long ago Randy “Something Positive” Milholland livetweeted his attempts to watch a similar show calledDance Moms:

so @Iron_Spike convinced me I need to watch a show called “Dance Moms” because, I guess, she’s worried I’m not angry enough.

I’m betting I get 5 minutes in before I punch a wall and give up.

Jesus… fucking… Christ. @Iron_Spike , I will hunt you for this. HUNT YOU.

“You have to be really hot… sexy.” Said by an adult to an eleven year old.

Oh, Lifetime airs this? When’d they go from “All Men Will Rape You” to “Prosti-Tots on Parade”?

“Make it like you’re 17 years old.” Said by same adult to SAME eleven year old. Christ.

“The kids are just so skimpy and hot on stage.” … did Pedobear produce this?

@theroseinbloom "Dance Moms" - and it makes me want to kill myself.

“It’s all about the butt." #ShitNotToSayToLittleGirls

Of course, all the mom’s are botoxed hasbeens living through their daughters.

The mothers also seem to take great pleasure when other people’s children fall and potentially hurt themselves. #KillThesePeople

OH MY GOD they’re dressed like they’re showing up to a porn shoot - Lifetime, what the fuck

How do I screencap things on a mac? I want you all to see this so you’re ALL visited by Chris Hansen #TakeASeat

Mother: ”… I guess we’re going for ‘skin to win’?“ Teacher: "Yes.” ACTUAL DIALOGUE. BTW, I’m not even 10 minutes in.
(At this point, an hour had passed since his first tweet.)

I keep pausing it because I’m so… fucking… angry.
(Can’t say I blame him.)

walking away for drink break

WHY?! pic.twitter.com/0vkMUPh

Y'know, change that logo from “Lifetime” to “Spike” and the same people who love this show would be screaming for blood.

Three 30+ year old women are sitting around and ridiculing a 6 year old who’s learning to dance. Seriously.

I want every adult on this show to be mauled by bears.

This show is about a lot of privileged suburban moms who torture their daughters to feel good about themselves.

“I wanted to be a dancer when I was a kid but I was never given that opportunity….” Yeeeeeah, that’s kinda obvious, lady.

And now the teacher is screaming at a kid because her mom was crying. Christ.

The dance teacher is screaming at the bus driver because he’s not driving more smoothly on a highway as she puts eye make-up on.

Holy shit they dressed the little girls as hookers for a competition in Lancaster, PA? Sorta conservative area to make hooker babies.

Holy shit - they’re showing glimpses of EVERY other groups’ dance routine - all are completely covered - no skin showing.

“Girls, you’re wearing 2 piece outfits. Either sit down and do 100 sit ups or paint the abs on.” Said, again, by a teacher to 8-11 year olds

The actual dance was worse than anything I’d have imagined. The kids didn’t even place in the competition.

@Mijder No, the parents seem to know EXACTLY why and are a little horrified at the dance number.

Well that was awful. I will not be watching more episodes. I HAD hoped to go to sleep but now I just want to puke.

He finally gave up a good two hours after beginning his attempt. From what he tweeted, I can’t blame him. Grown women using their kids to live vicariously, sexualising them in a cynical attempt to win through sex appeal, and basically ruining their confidence - then they wonder why they didn’t even place.