You’re a hideous freak, running through underground caverns, fleeing a giant worm, oh and there’s creatures trying to turn you into sushi if you don’t fall in the yellow goo of death. Welcome to Discount Mayonnaise.
So, how is this game like Tetris?
The storyline is more elaborate than that of, say, Wouter “Aardappel” van Oortmersson's Cube, thanks to that bloody giant worm, but you still are involved in killing stuff. It’s just that you can’t kill or slow down that sodding worm, so you have to survive to the end where a handy bunker awaits you, collect coins to afford better armor and weapons, and generally avoid falling into the yellow goo. Maybe it’s the eponymous condiment.
Visually the game has that cartoonish, crazed edge that makes me think of a cross between Edmund McMillen (Gish, Super Meat Boy, The Binding of Isaac) and Jhonen Vasquez (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Invader Zim). Admittedly the graphics are overwhelmingly brown and yellow, but that just makes the baddies and pickups stand out.
The music by Hopeku is suitably frantic, and while not as ‘metal’ as the graphics might suggest, manages to do two things: first, it keeps up the anxiety levels, and secondly, doesn’t get in the way. Either that or the developers didn’t crank the volume to maximum like almost all do.
Sound effects are effective and alternate between meaty (the roars and splats of dying monsters) and strangely appropriate (e.g. the two-tone lift bell when you reach the end.)
Controls are as simple as you can get: Arrows or WASD to move, space to shoot or open menus, escape to close said menus. However, you can only shoot left or right, you can’t shoot up or down. Which is annoying at times when there’s a posse of monsters waiting for you.
Powerups are jackets (which shield and heal), gloves (which allow you to use damage and special pickups), and shoes (which affect your speed and jumping ability). Depending on the path ahead you’ll probably need to trade off powers - especially on level 12, where you need a lot of speed as opposed to jumping, if it’s your first attempt.
The first downside - and there are two - is that the game lags noticeably when there’s a lot going on - not a good thing in an action time-attack title that is this Hard. And yes, that’s Capital-H-italic-and-bold Hard. You’ll be crying with frustration by level 9 and ragequitting by level 12.
The second is that this game doesn’t have an autofire facility - and in this game thought goes out the window and the space bar gets a hammering. Which hurts after a while.
Despite this, the game is like Tetris. There’s no plot, simple controls, and most importantly, you keep going back to try again, because it’s a matter of pride.
