All aboard the snekbus

In which we learn that if you love your pets, obey all signs.

[00:36] Magdalena Kamenev has a story!
[00:37] Alastair Whybrow sits back and waits for “Once upon a time”
[00:37] Christina Gilderoy: Oh Goodie!  \
[00:37] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): So, someone I know has a thing for exotic animals, but she channels it by fostering wildlife rescue animals …
[00:37] Scripted Haiku: Another story!
[00:39] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): And one of the animals she had in her care was a large ball python, that she would bathe by pulling on her swimsuit and taking the snake into the shower with her.
[00:39] Christina Gilderoy: Yikes!
[00:39] Scripted Haiku: Oooo… hot!
[00:40] Alastair Whybrow: she wore a swimsuit in the shower?
[00:40] Christina Gilderoy refers back to Forest Gumps Mama!
[00:40] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): One day, she was bathing the snake when her doorbell rang. She got out of the shower and opened the front door to find a woman who lived a couple of blocks over from her.
[00:41] ‘Cip’ (precipitate.flood): I take it her visitor could be heard several blocks away?
[00:41] Scripted Haiku: “Watch her take the pleasure from the serpent that once corrupted man.”
[00:42] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): The woman was at her door with a petition complaining about the lesbian couple who just moved in on my friend’s block, and gave this whole spiel about decent family values and decadent lesbian interlopers.
[00:42] Sha'uri Cheshire-Angel (lianndraa.gothly) giggles.
[00:42] Christina Gilderoy: Uh-oh!
[00:42] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): The petitioner not realizing that my friend is a bisexual who leans towards dating women …
[00:42] Wrath Constantine: This will only end in tears….. of hilarious laughter!
[00:42] Christina Gilderoy: Did she have a petition against her the next day?
[00:43] Scripted Haiku: We had lesbians and now we have a bear. She’s right to worry.
[00:43] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): And one more thing … the woman was holding in her arms, along with the clipboard for the petition, one of those little toy dogs.
[00:45] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): The snake saw its post-bath snack and before either woman could react - SNAP! CRUNCH! - and half the dog was in the snake’s mouth.
[00:45] Alastair Whybrow: BWAhahahaha
[00:46] Sha'uri Cheshire-Angel (lianndraa.gothly): That’s hilarious. :)
[00:46] Christina Gilderoy: It was a real dog?
[00:46] Scripted Haiku: lmao!
[00:46] Eclectric Breitman: The punchline here is that the little dog and the snake were lesbian-married the next day.
[00:47] Christina Gilderoy: The toy?
[00:47] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): No, it was a real, tiny dog.
[00:47] Alastair Whybrow: I think Magda meant “toy"  as in very small real dog, rather than fluffy plaything
[00:47] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): I don’t know what breed.
[00:47] Sha'uri Cheshire-Angel (lianndraa.gothly): Tasty. :)
[00:48] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): As far as I know, my friend was never sued. :>
[00:48] Scripted Haiku: See? Lesbians are a gateway to other predators!
[00:48] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): As it happens, my friend had a sign up in her front yeard, saying that her house was a wildlife rescue and that animals should not be brought on the premises without permission …
[00:50] Alastair Whybrow: Ah, well, she didn’t have a leg to stand on. Like the snake…………..
[00:50] Alastair Whybrow: Did they get the dog back?
[00:50] Scripted Haiku: Half of it.
[00:51] Eclectric Breitman: If you thought that dog was terrified of the shop vac before…
[00:51] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): If I remember correctly, there was an attempt to extract the dog, but it was too late.
[00:52] Scripted Haiku: Extracting one creature from another rarely goes well.
[00:52] Alastair Whybrow pictures the two ladies jamming a car jack into the python’s mouth
[00:52] Magda Haiku (magdalena.kamenev): The end!
[00:54] Christina Gilderoy: Poor dog though!  I have a little pup and it would make me really sad to see it go like that!
[00:55] Scripted Haiku: Don’t mess with python toting bisexual women who shower with snakes and you should be fine
[00:55] Artemiss Luminos: i eould have no need of a car jack, i would tear anything ot bits with my bare handsthat swallowed my dog!
[00:56] Artemiss Luminos: i loves me my doggyy, i does!
[00:56] Alastair Whybrow: A friend of mine entered their huge St Bernard in a local pet show. The dog was the only one in its class, and first prize was a guinea-pig. They put the guinea-pig down in front of the dog for the obligatory local press photo, and GLOMP!  The St Bernard swallowed the guinea-pig in one.
[00:57] Artemiss Luminos: oh dear
[00:57] Alastair Whybrow: Unfortunately, the kid who’d donated the guinea-pig was there.
[00:57] Artemiss Luminos: awwwww :-(
[00:58] Christina Gilderoy: These are sad stories tonight!
[00:59] Artemiss Luminos: yes, couldn’t we talk of pleasanter things?
[01:00] Artemiss Luminos: shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings?
[01:00] Artemiss Luminos: *grins*

(September 15 2012)